to tell u the truth, i can't wait to go to karachi...i have so few relatives here and i have no hopes of going anywhere with my friends again for the time i'm in lahore...we're all too, too busy. well, i just caught up with the blogs...everyone's updated except chij (where ARE u girl? dropping a private blog doesn't mean u don't post on the beloved public one anymore!)...and am still amused by the differnt kinds of ppl in the world...seriously, y r they looking for life on other planets anyway? as if we weren't confused enuff with our diversity... so, all guests gone, and now i'm in peace. but i do miss the few days i had with my cousins, een though they weren't of my age group. i simply became a child again (well, they're not exactly kids, they make dirty jokes and everything that comes with adolescence)...playing board and card games with them till late into the night, laffing my head off at the wacky parodies they act out, getting crazier and crazier the later it gets, ( u shud have seen their parody of my getting the award from the president!that was priceless....)living solely on junk food but not gaining any wieght because of all the chakkars we had around the city...well, the list cud go on and on forever. anyways, in karachi i'll be able to do all that and much more cuz there r cousins of every shape and size over there...and the sea! oh, how i luv that sea...the waves swooping forward and crashing on the beach and then drawing away again....it gives me this wonderful feeling...i can be inspired to do simply anything by that wondrous thing. well, gotta run....there still the whole packing to do...if only the sea was here and my cousins came every year instead of us going thru the hassle of travelling...i hate the tension in that.

these holidays...

i had a few days of rest...going around the city with friends and cousins as long as we cud bear the heat....and then the guests came. then? then i'm just going crazy...three 12 year olds, a 29 year old, a taya and tai, a phuppo(whom i call didi) and....i forgot who that skinny woman in te corner is...oh yeah...it's my didi's best friend...and...now i've lost count. anyway, the house is a perpetual mess, and i've discovered that i'm a compulsive cleaner, so my days r happily passed in cleaning and tidying and reading and of course, my once-a-year project, embridering somehing for my granny in karachi. so i haven't had time to update, chat, go orkuting, watch TV, or even check my mail....uff, that poor Inbox, it had all but burst. haan, so y am i updating? becaauseee....i'm sick! yes!!! that's how i finally got time to get online...no details, but the heat was part of the reason...so i'm exempted(read forbidden) to do anything at all. Except this. All i can say is; i dun kno if i want to go to karachi this year...i have all my relatives there, but it's not so good now. my taya's got cancer, and he's really really depressed. All he can say now is that he knows he won't be able to go back to karachi after coming to lahore...whenever he goes somewhere he says that it's the last time he'll be doing this... i hate it. but i've gotta rush now...more relatives coming as they're all going today...cya

so...the exams r over but still have abt 3 days of extra classes to go...idiot school, idiot administration, idiot teachers...but still, it's not so bad, it's not so bad... i am posting for no other and no better reason than the fact that this idiot blog is in dire need of updating...i'm still crying abt my last exam in here *shudder* so what have i done in these five days of holidays...quite a lot, but it doesn't seem like much, cuz i've lazed around a lot too...just painting my sister'r room(just one wall), and reading and writing and what not... aaannnddd this heeeeaaaatttt!!!!!!!!!! is it really worse in karachi beause u can't sweat, or better because of the wind? yaar waj batao...i have to come prepared. ohhh...i have to go to karachi too...i get exhausted just thinking about it...two weddings to attend....a dozen kids to clamber all over u...two male cousins who have grown even weirder than they were last year....and cousins my own age trying to get a moment for themelves....why do ppl give u such ajeeb looks when u heave a looooonnngggg sigh?? have to sign off now...mommy dearest coming for my daily session abt religon, ethics and keeping my temper.(yes, at this time) this is ATY, signing off

what happens to me during te exams? my black notebook is finally filled to the last page with poem both unfinished and finished, some dark essays which i wud hopefully publish but under a pseudonym cuz if anyone in my family reads them i'll be hustled to the mental hosptal in no time flat (which would be pretty cool, to come to think of it....after all...where do psychologists go every day?)..if i can just take my writing materials with me....i'll have a novel in no time. so there were all these books piled up in their respective subjects on the biggest table in the house....and me in the middle of them....of these bars from which there seemed no respite but insanity.... anyway to make a long sob story short...there only one bar left then my wings would be free to soar to the skies....in TV, internships, sweltering weather, and fighting with cousins....what a romantic life i lead....can't wait