A thought for Father Christmas

Christmas is approaching and like any other year, my heart goes out to Father Christmas. How thankless is a job which involves fulfilling human desires? Father Christmas roams around on cold nights, sneaks in through chimneys and leaves behind for people, what they wish for. Why does he do that? What does he think of when he does that? Does he know that a man's wishes are too big to fit into a sock?

All the while, man continues to be as ungrateful as ever. Have you ever seen anyone saying, "I wonder what Father Christmas is doing now" on a sunny April afternoon or "What is it that Father Christmas wishes for"? Or even, "I don't wish for anything"? Yet Father Christmas toils away on chilly nights trying to please people who don't know how to be happy.

There comes a time in life when you really do feel as if nothing is fair on anyone. The weakest people are singled out for all kinds of problems, torture, and sadness, and the strong ones are too hardened to care. And then comes such a feeling of helplessness that you don't even know what to think or what to expect. I don't understand what I'm saying now either-I rarely do. My khalu followed my taya to the grave on tuesday, and I still can't believe it. Less than a month we knew he was sick, and now he's gone, and no one expected it to be like this. While taya was old, had 4 grandchildren and was in deep pain, it wasn't the same for khalu. He was the epitome of a living being, and now he lies in cold obstruction--everything is so terrible one would go mad to think deeply about it. How do my cousins and khala feel, i have no idea, i simply start trembling when i think of what they must be going through. His youngest daughter Dania is a year younger than me, and was so attached to her Papa..her room was filled with pictures of him...and now all she can do is sit and look at his photos, his ID card, his medicines, anything. All she eats is apples, day in day out, God knows why. Occasionally she tells me how happy he was in life, always satisfied, always smiling and laughing, and acting cute. She told me how, when she closed her eyes, she could see her father standing in front of her and giving her this huge smile. She got a little better for a while, but now she's slipping into depression...what do you do, someone tell me, what do you do when a 16 year old is depressed like that? and what can i say about her sisters and mother...they're so scared and shocked that they're simply moving like robots. Khala was never a strong person to begin with, she's taken anti-depressants since God-knows-when, what she would do on her own is simply incomprehensible. I dunno why i started writing about this, but i suppose i must finish it because i don't have the heart to delete it. Just one thing before I go---all of u, never take anyone for granted. ANYONE. even tho my khalu was not a blood relative, he was my cousins' father, and without him they are just lost. Appreciate ur parents, u seriously do not know if they'll be with u the next day or not...

what a time to post...i'm doing this not because i havetime, but because my fingers are frozen and this is the best way to warm them up before my calculus quiz. My college doesn't seem to realize that it is officially winter in Lahore now, and hence have not switched off the blasted air conditioning. So what with the early morning chills and the north-pole atmoshpere of Lab 2, i'm fairly expecting to see icicles on the tables. The other day, while attending an economics lecture, the classroom was so cold that it became impossible to study-all we could do was scrunch ourselves over in an effort to keep warm, while the hostelites ran out to get their jackets from their rooms...lucky bastards...it was like a labour camp in winter for the rest of us. But yes, the humour is always there with us (or at least me), cuz we started singing 'just chill chill, just chill' under our frozen breaths. Tobah we'll never get over our cheapness... and my fingers are not warm yet... the other day i met this really cool senior (4th year), and talking with her was such an uplifting experience that i simply hav to type it down. I dunno y it's so abt certain ppl, but they're just so natural and humble that u feel like talking to them somehow, even if it's just a trivial conversation. The fact is, she was so down-to-earth, and she actually admitted that she wasn't the typical LUMS crowd-no societies, wasn't a TA, and she had no qualms abt sitting with two freshmen when there were plenty of seniors around. Actually, i wonder if i wud hav liked her as much if she hadn't assured me that the literature and psychology faculty were simply brilliant here. When other ppl hear that i plan to major in SS, u shud just see their faces-they're incredulous! either they think it's a lot of khapp for nothing, or they think it's a soft option compared to ACF or econ or maths or CS or the other 'paisay walay' majors. But Tooba (the senior) has been one of the few ppl to encourage me in this--and uptil now, it has been only seniors who hav encouraged me--why, oh why can't I relate to ppl my own age?? chalo then, my fingers are still frozen, but at least they can move by themselves...me going to study for calculus....pray 4 me plz, i'm hopeless at it :(