reply to comments on 'serious post'

i think this previous post of mine deserves an extra post especially for the comments Many, many times in my life, I have heard people say things like ‘I’m just that way. You can’t ask me to change myself. I can’t change.’And every time I’ve always taken it as acceptable that anyone can be excused for not caring that they hurt mine or anybody else’s feelings, for not being responsible, for not thinking about the sort of people they hang out with, or even for being just plain mean. But there’s always been something inside me that makes me so uncomfortable with such statements. I mean, what does ‘I’m just that way’ mean?The plain truth is: it means that one can’t be responsible for him/herself! It seems so stupid, it’s like you’re degrading urself, you can’t even control urself, how are you gonna control your life. Are you just going to be blown this way and that, refusing to change urself, refusing to be human, just because that’s the way you are? I dun think much of these people then…it’s all very well to stick to your good habits, such as studying regularly and speaking the truth, even if ppl ridicule you for it, or you get into trouble, but I just cannot accept the fact that human beings can be so cold when it comes to others’ feelings. They just can’t be bothered-and their excuse is that they’re not the caring type.All I have to say here now is to look at urself and your actions, think about how many times you urself have done this kind of thing, and shake this notion that you were not made to be any better. You are responsible for the way you act, you are to answer for your life, and no one but you is to blame if you end up unhappy with your lot if you don’t adjust urself for the better. 2 comments: This post is pointing fingers… By Anonymous Well, the anonymous blogger above stole my comment. This post points fingers, a finger rather, the big, fat index finger, and it points the finger at ME. All words are useless All thoughts in vain The truth is to stay here And so is the pain For you it must be hard ‘Coz you think I do not care About the sorrow I’ve caused And all the times I’ve been unfair But let me tell you something Mean I may seem to you I feel like crying everyday ‘Coz it hurts me badly too Who is to apologize And for which broken sin? I’ve sinned so much I’ve lost count So let me suffer within I admit I read these comments a bit late, but even when I did read them just now, my first instinct was not to reply to them. But since someone seems to expect it, I’ll try to explain my point, although I’m afraid I might only get a defensive reaction, as always. The background of this post was, simply: a book. I am reading (or trying to read) a self-help book, the first one I have ventured to open. And it’s amazing; it’s so clear and simple; it really gives one focus to life and highlights exactly what types of things are important and which are not. So, reading this, I came across a whole section on being responsible for your own actions, about responsibility to other human beings. I studied this in O level literature too; so this practical concept is not entirely unfamiliar to me. Hence, I could relate to it. And all I could think abt was the number of ppl in my life who have said things like ‘I’m just that way’ ‘I can’t change’ ‘I can’t help being like this’ as though it was a mission statement or something). They’re simply too confused to know that they CAN change for the better, they CAN make themselves WANT to change for the better, and if they don’t, they’re not fulfilling their duty to mankind. Remember that Hadis? ‘Show mercy to those that are on earth, an He, who is in the heavens, will show mercy to you’ if mercy is not what you are used to showing, what will you say to Allah when He asks you why you didn’t care abt spurning a person who needed you without feeling? ‘Ummm…sorry Allah Mian, but I’m not that way’??????? So all I was trying to do in this post was to convey the lesson I had learnt and then forgotten, which a book written by a non-Muslim had to remind me of. Pointing fingers? Why do you use such a negative way of thinking? If I wanted to point fingers, I would not have made such a general post. I want everyone to know this, and look at themselves. I know that my friends here (for whom I care abt more than they can ever imagine) have said a lot of stuff like ‘I’m just that way’, but I wasn’t trying to hurt you; I just want your own good. Now that you know it’s so inexcusable to be irresponsible, why not try to change instead of just feeling? If you feel that guilty that you wrote such a great poem on it, why not try to be better now? If you feel guilty, you must know WHY you’re feeling guilty. Why don’t you try to right your wrongs, if they make you feel so bad? It’s not my post that making you feel bad. It’s you. It’s not that hard, dears, I promise. And it’s the right thing to do. Feel like crying everyday…oh, sweetie, the answer is not to cry, gee, I wish I could just do something to stop that…all you have to do is be strong. Don’t take it too hard, else you won’t know what to do to, you’ll just be numb.