harshness...

‘Time and hour rushes through the roughest day’ Ah…time and hours seems to be dragging their feet through these rough days right now. And they’re the roughest for other people, not me. No, I’m just happy-go-lucky, getting acceptable SAT scores, studying literature (which is not a punishment for me as it is for some), taking time out to watch TV and even a few movies, having a good appetite, and making plans for the holidays. There’s a different sort of pain when tragedy comes to your friends-it has no better name than guilt. I know I shouldn’t feel like this, but it seems almost a sin to smile now. And there’s this guilt of having been so ungrateful in the past, of complaining abt every little inconvenience of life…and not thinking abt life itself. Deaths sends you crashing back down on earth, and some people have been crashed so much that they’ve gone even further below. How can I tell them not to worry, that it’s all for the best, how can I tell anyone to concentrate, force herself to concentrate on her studies? I’ve never had to experience anything of this kind. There have been a whole lot of births in m why family recently, not deaths. If any of my relatives died in my lifetime, they were old, and in pain, they had lived their life to the fullest. It was evident that their deaths were for the better. But a two-year-old, a newborn and a 24 year old? Why? How do they cope with it? I’m sure I can’t. And all I can do is to pray to Allah to give them strength…I can’t even seem to say the right words to comfort anyone. I’m just sitting there at home most of the time, feeling like bawling my eyes out-and studying seems so much harder than it ever did before. Literature has too many references to death, and economics and business seem so materialistic they’re positively disgusting. Life has just come hurtling back to reality. Why does it have to be so harsh?